It’s OK – Oklahoma that is

Hello lovelies! It’s certainly been awhile! First – I hope you are weathering this current craziness – or at least not subscribing to the bottle-a-day wine club just yet. Today’s blog post is really about one thing – a confession. My confession. I hate to say it but I’ve been a shirker; a shilly-shallyer of the most waffling kind. I’ve neglected the blog – left y’all hangin’ in a crafty limbo. And I am sorry but I think, in these circumstances . . .

it’s OK

OKLAHOMA that is

Let me backtrack just a bit – to late May 2020 to be exact. My husband is working from home and our daughter is living with us, having just moved back to the States after teaching in Australia for eight years. Our son, a biology student at PSU, is living smack in the middle of Portland, Oregon amidst riots and protests. And there’s Covid-19. Enough said.

While all this craziness is happening, the traffic on my blog is exploding like a shaken can of fizzy pop. I’m actually making a multi-Starbuck’s-mochas-per-month kind of revenue – Grandes too!! Wow! Right?

And what am I doing? NOTHING. Nope – no posts, no projects, no social media . . . nada. Crazy right? What The Flippity Floo! I should be working it! I should be sharing and creating and posting and chatting BUT, I got nothin’. I’ve got not creative mojo and I’m kind of avoiding the entire topic of

THE BLOG

And then my ‘honey lamb’ comes out of his office and asks, “What do you think of Oklahoma?”

. . . and I respond, “The musical…?”

Now we live in Tulsa, Oklahoma

Okay, maybe it didn’t happen quite that fast but it all went shockingly smooth. My husband loves his new job (the reason we moved), Ashlyn accepted a 4th grade math and science teaching position, we sold our AZ home on day two AND we found a great new-build home ready for immediate move-in. Easy peasy right?! Hmmm.

But You’re So Busy

Seven weeks have passed and it’s a beautiful sunny day in Tulsa; 73 degrees with a light breeze. Most of the boxes are unpacked. We’ve got some new furniture coming in a few more weeks and window coverings should be up by the end of the month. The house is settling – and what am I doing . . . ? Nada. Zip. Zero.

“But you must be so busy” people say. Mmmmm – not really. I’m shifty and unsettled; trying to find a rhythm and a rhyme.

But I Don’t Know What I Want to be When I Grow Up

I wonder everyday, “why am I not blogging?” Why aren’t I crafting and creating for my new home? Shouldn’t I be peppering the walking paths of Tulsa with Kindness Rocks and exploring my new creative community? Jeff and Ash are working all week and Lord knows I’ve got the time.

I deliberate over words like depression, self-sabotage, emotional survival, loneliness . . . they all taste foul in my mouth because society decided they are bad words. The truth is, there’s probably a bit of each of them living inside me right now BUT the bigger issue, I think, is that I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. Is my ‘job’ a Blogger? A Writer? A Crafter? Should I go back to school and if so, study what? I’m just not sure and I think that’s OK – for a bit.

I’m OK in Oklahoma

Oklahoma is a big and unexpected move for us and we are doing it in the middle of a pandemic. We have no friends or family here – I am constantly without bearings. It’s an uncomfortable feeling but as the quote says, “Great things never come from comfort zones. So, I’m just going to BE here right now – a little itchy, a little lost but OK in Oklahoma.

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